I haven't seen you in a while

I’ve been laying on my garage floor with shaky fingers tracing the patches of peeled paint where the raw flesh-colored concrete shows vulnerable like naked skin

I’ve been flickering like light through the leaves of the trees because nobody will touch me because nobody will make me real

I’ve been trudging through sunny parks with my feet baking in my beaten black boots been meeting boys been looking up to the sky like a poet

I’ve been burning in my dreams held up by hooks in my skin but nothing that real happens so I should probably chill out

I’ve been trying to grab peoples’ hands in public and pull them to my throat but nobody wants to kill me

I’ve been living on the edge of the void and it inches back every day but I swear man one day I’ll fall in

I’ve been eating a lot I’ve been sleeping a lot I’ve been on the hot hood of my car baking in the sun

I’ve been lethargic but sometimes I leap up from my couch with visions like a saint speaking in tongues but it doesn’t matter doesn’t matter because I don’t know what the hell I’m saying

I’ve been staying up late trying to bring myself a body

I’ve been thinking about hands the fingers the long fingers and the veins on the tops of the hands over the slender bird-like bones and the spaces in between them please let me

I want to stop writing